Don't Suffer In Silence... Let Someone Know You Are Depressed

Strong Black Women Are Allowed To Have Depression Too

Nikki Webber Allen was a strong American Black Woman who denied her diagnosis of depression and anxiety because in her mind they signified "weakness" and she felt that she would be letting the generations of strong black men and women who preceded her down if she let anyone know that she struggled with "mental health issues".

In Psychiatry, depression is described as "a mental condition characterized by feelings of severe despondency and dejection, typically also with feelings of inadequacy and guilt, often accompanied by lack of energy and disturbance of appetite and sleep." (Internet)

In her desire to keep up her end, Webber Allen, felt that her privileged upbringing with loving parents and a good education required that she work extra hard to repress any show of weakness that might bring shame to the hard-working visionary Black leaders and family members who came before her.  To keep the panic and anxiety down, and all the feelings that bubbled in the depression-anxiety pool, Webber Allen buried herself in achievement.  She worked hard and obtained a Master's degree in Media Studies, eventually turning that into two Emmy Awards, fruits of her labour, and surely, signs that she was a highly functional, Strong Black Woman that her forebears would be proud of.

Webber Allen is a role model for those saavy black young men and women coming up behind her.  She was particularly close to a nephew.  Watch the following great TedTalk to find out what turned Webber Allen's life around so that she now promotes talking about her depression and anxiety instead of trying to hide it.  Your comments about this video are welcome below .  If you either talk about your depression openly, or choose not to, your reasons for either approach are interesting to readers.  Can you relate to Webber Allen's decision?

Sometimes Just Having Someone Listen When You Are Depressed and Lonely Is All You Need

Sophie describes herself in a Ted Talk video as a teenager who was lonely, isolated and depressed, and quite "off the rails" after her mother had left home, leaving her vulnerable to her sexually-abusive father and his friends.  At fourteen she reached out for help by calling the helpline in the UK run by the volunteers known as "Samaritans".

Sophie describes how the Samaritans are trained not to offer advice, but to "just listen" to what the callers have to say, guiding them gently through this process.  In the simple act of listening, along with a caring, gentle tone and words of encouragement, Sophie found her way through the daily trauma, and ultimately was able to leave her destructive, traumatizing family environment to live in a nurturing place through her teen years.

In her early adulthood Sophie describes becoming a volunteer for Samaritans herself.  She saw this as "paying back" for the help that she had gotten as a troubled, suicidal teenager.  While she had appreciated the professional help she received in her life, her most valuable help came from the caring, non-judging, confidentiality-keeping trained volunteers at Samaritans whose non-advice-giving empathy encouraged her to want to provide a similar kind of help to others like herself.

Watch this wonderful Ted Talk to find out what else Sophie did more recently to help others with loneliness and depression.  

Have you experienced how helpful it is when someone listens deeply to what you have to share without giving you advice?  If you have had a transformative life experience that you believe was the result of being listened to and affirmed by a trained volunteer, perhaps a helpline 'counselor', please share in the comments below what your experience was. (You can remain anonymous. We believe that you have an inspiring piece to share that will encourage others. Thank you!)