Therapeutic Writing for Grieving Adolescents

A 2024 literature review published in Grief examines the efficacy of therapeutic letter writing as an intervention for adolescents grieving the loss of a peer to suicide. The review finds that this method can significantly aid in emotional processing, meaning-making, and long-term adjustment to the loss. However, it also notes potential challenges, including ethical concerns related to confidentiality and the cognitive capacities of adolescents.

Original Study: Access the study here

Canadian Suicide Prevention Service

Review Summary: 

The review underscores the promise of therapeutic letters in adolescent grief counseling while acknowledging the need for careful consideration of implementation challenges.

Here’s a simplified explanation for a parent of a grieving youth, showing how letter writing might be used in therapy to help a teen process the loss of a friend or loved one to suicide.

 **How Letter Writing Helps a Grieving Teen in Therapy**

Therapeutic letter writing is a gentle, creative way to help your teen express the many emotions they might not know how to talk about. It’s not about getting grammar right — it’s about healing.

🧠 Why It Works

Grief after a suicide can be filled with confusion, guilt, anger, and sadness. A teen might wonder:

*Why did they do this?

*Was it my fault?

*Could I have helped?

*I didn’t get to say goodbye.

Writing a letter gives your teen a way to say what they’re holding inside — even things they might feel too ashamed or afraid to say out loud

🧑‍⚕️ How a Therapist Might Introduce It

 “You’ve been carrying a lot since your friend died. Sometimes when we can't talk to someone anymore, writing them a letter can help. Would you be open to trying that? You don’t have to show anyone unless you want to. You’re writing just for you.”

The therapist would explain:

It’s not a school assignment.** No spelling or grammar rules.

There are no wrong feelings.** Anger, love, regret, or confusion are all okay.

The letter is private.** They can share it, keep it, or even tear it up.

✍️ What the Teen Might Write

The letter could be to:

* The friend who died ("Dear Jesse...")

* Themselves ("Dear Me...")

* The person they wish they could talk to (like a parent, teacher, or even God)

📄 Example Letter to a Friend

Dear Jesse,

I still don’t understand why you did it. I keep thinking about the last time we talked. I should’ve seen the signs. I’m mad at you for leaving and scared that it could happen to someone else. I miss you. I wish I could’ve helped.

I’m trying to make sense of it all. I want to believe you’re at peace. I hope you knew how much I cared.

Love,

Taylor

🧘 What Happens After the Letter

The therapist might:

* Talk with the teen about what it felt like to write it.

* Help them understand the emotions that came up.

* Suggest writing again later to reflect progress or healing.

Some teens might write a series of letters over time — expressing new feelings as they process their loss.

🕊️ Optional Rituals (if the teen is open)

* Read the letter aloud in a safe space.

* Put it in a memory box.

* Burn or bury it as a symbolic goodbye.

* Turn it into part of a scrapbook or art project.

Bottom line for parents:

Letter writing is one way a grieving teen can feel *heard*, even when the person they miss is no longer here. It gives structure to grief — a place to put emotions — and it’s guided safely with the support of a caring therapist.

When A Friend Dies: A Book for Teens about Grieving and Healing by Marilyn E. Goodman

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